thursday | may 18
May. 18th, 2017 11:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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noyabeansended up not posting at all but, Imma roll with it.
I honestly never intended to write People You May Know. heck, I was actually... midway through the Kuroyaku fake dating au when I somehow decided to go back and read In Hate With You (I'm addicted to that fic, seriously, just like I'm addicted to city in the rearview). I chanced upon the comments, saw that Mel and a reader were having a comment thread that mentioned Dateko.
and okay I think it's common knowledge by now that I am inexplicably weak and awfully fond of Futakuchi, and I am also very fond of Dateko - they're currently my top team, Nekoma trails very slightly behind them (because I have fallen totally in love with the Dateko dynamics). obviously when I ended up thinking about Futakuchi pining, and Dateko teasing the life out of him, I couldn't resist the urge to write something.
remember I mentioned previously that Futakuchi is one of my favourite characters to write? that's because he comes easy to me - he's almost easier than Yaku sometimes, but that's also because my emotions are too closely tied up with Yaku's so it makes writing fics a pain. so writing Futakuchi pining and whining and being Utterly Unable to deal with a crush (or feelings) was incredibly fun and a really smooth process. I've not had 2000 words just spill themselves out from under my fingers with such ease in a long while now. and I love the voice that comes with writing Futakuchi - he's a thorny, hostile little fierce bean in denial, and deep down he's a huge sap who loves cheesy stuff and throwing shade - so that's a huge, huge plus.
I don't particularly have anything to reflect on, I think, just that this fic is a reminder to me that I can still write, and that I can write without forcing myself to.
another thing would be... I can't help wondering what would have happened if Mel hadn't sent that fic out to tumblr-famous people. I mean, there are literally only two fics in the Tanafuta tag rn. I can't imagine many people would click on it of their own accord - the other fics with brand new tags that I created Kawanishi/Futakuchi & Kawanishi/Futakuchi/Shirabu have had reception nowhere half as good as this Tanafuta, even though I am personally of the opinion that the Kawafutashira is one of my best works to date. it's not plot-heavy in particular, nor is it... particularly moving. it's just... a fun fic that I had a lot of fun writing, and I think that's something that happens a lot when I write Futakuchi, which is why I enjoy writing him so much.
I got lucky this time, I guess? not to downplay my own writing skills but I am painfully aware that the things I write are more often than not likely to be swept away and buried under the rush of this fandom's content.
ritzfics's post today reminded me that I do have some fics that I totally don't remember writing at all. it's really strange how they become forgettable? I'm thinking about the platonic Kuroyaku that I wrote as an exploration of characterisation, and the platonic Kuronoya that I wrote as a character study of Noya's personality. they're there on my ao3, but I think because they haven't had any particularly outstanding comments or memorable moments, I don't really remember writing them either lol. plus I wrote them in my earliest HQ fandom days (I say it as though it's been very long, when it's actually only been,,,,, 8 months?)
I've not been writing for the past few days - work has really been No Chill recently and I'm trying to make the most out of what little of my internship still remains - but I went and reread through all my Google Docs a couple nights ago. taking a break has really, really helped. I'm thankful I didn't act on impulse and delete Timeless #8 like I was on the verge of doing the other day, because now that I'm reading it with a less-frustrated mind, I'm actually appreciating the fic lol. I was kinda annoyed when it ended, like "Oi, you can't just stop there!"
Yeah, tell past me that :P I reread a bunch of stuff, not just Timeless #8. The Kuroyaku fake dating is ... kinda stiff, I'm not sure where I want to go with it. the Yakunoya is still too heavy and fresh for me to read with a clear mind... so in order to remedy all that, I decided to write a Kuroyaku... again.......................
I can't defend myself.
I think I want to write gen fics - I really want to do a proper character study for Noya someday, that's the one thing I will force myself to write before I allow myself to fall out of fandom - but writing gen fic isn't a thing that just /happens/ for me. it needs me to be in /the zone/ which more often than not, I'm not in, which makes things difficult. I end up turning back to Kuroyaku cos it's familiar territory, lol.
I also realised that I made a mistake in stressing myself to churn out more fics for Timeless. now that I'm looking back, I realise that I was upset with Timeless #8 cos I was kind of forcing myself to write it. I want to finish Timeless #8 before I get to the hard fun in Timeless #6. but I forgot that my time travel muse is actually fickle, and forcing it isn't the smartest thing to do.
so, yeah, you know what they say - hindsight is 20/20.
I honestly never intended to write People You May Know. heck, I was actually... midway through the Kuroyaku fake dating au when I somehow decided to go back and read In Hate With You (I'm addicted to that fic, seriously, just like I'm addicted to city in the rearview). I chanced upon the comments, saw that Mel and a reader were having a comment thread that mentioned Dateko.
and okay I think it's common knowledge by now that I am inexplicably weak and awfully fond of Futakuchi, and I am also very fond of Dateko - they're currently my top team, Nekoma trails very slightly behind them (because I have fallen totally in love with the Dateko dynamics). obviously when I ended up thinking about Futakuchi pining, and Dateko teasing the life out of him, I couldn't resist the urge to write something.
remember I mentioned previously that Futakuchi is one of my favourite characters to write? that's because he comes easy to me - he's almost easier than Yaku sometimes, but that's also because my emotions are too closely tied up with Yaku's so it makes writing fics a pain. so writing Futakuchi pining and whining and being Utterly Unable to deal with a crush (or feelings) was incredibly fun and a really smooth process. I've not had 2000 words just spill themselves out from under my fingers with such ease in a long while now. and I love the voice that comes with writing Futakuchi - he's a thorny, hostile little fierce bean in denial, and deep down he's a huge sap who loves cheesy stuff and throwing shade - so that's a huge, huge plus.
I don't particularly have anything to reflect on, I think, just that this fic is a reminder to me that I can still write, and that I can write without forcing myself to.
another thing would be... I can't help wondering what would have happened if Mel hadn't sent that fic out to tumblr-famous people. I mean, there are literally only two fics in the Tanafuta tag rn. I can't imagine many people would click on it of their own accord - the other fics with brand new tags that I created Kawanishi/Futakuchi & Kawanishi/Futakuchi/Shirabu have had reception nowhere half as good as this Tanafuta, even though I am personally of the opinion that the Kawafutashira is one of my best works to date. it's not plot-heavy in particular, nor is it... particularly moving. it's just... a fun fic that I had a lot of fun writing, and I think that's something that happens a lot when I write Futakuchi, which is why I enjoy writing him so much.
I got lucky this time, I guess? not to downplay my own writing skills but I am painfully aware that the things I write are more often than not likely to be swept away and buried under the rush of this fandom's content.
ritzfics's post today reminded me that I do have some fics that I totally don't remember writing at all. it's really strange how they become forgettable? I'm thinking about the platonic Kuroyaku that I wrote as an exploration of characterisation, and the platonic Kuronoya that I wrote as a character study of Noya's personality. they're there on my ao3, but I think because they haven't had any particularly outstanding comments or memorable moments, I don't really remember writing them either lol. plus I wrote them in my earliest HQ fandom days (I say it as though it's been very long, when it's actually only been,,,,, 8 months?)I've not been writing for the past few days - work has really been No Chill recently and I'm trying to make the most out of what little of my internship still remains - but I went and reread through all my Google Docs a couple nights ago. taking a break has really, really helped. I'm thankful I didn't act on impulse and delete Timeless #8 like I was on the verge of doing the other day, because now that I'm reading it with a less-frustrated mind, I'm actually appreciating the fic lol. I was kinda annoyed when it ended, like "Oi, you can't just stop there!"
Yeah, tell past me that :P I reread a bunch of stuff, not just Timeless #8. The Kuroyaku fake dating is ... kinda stiff, I'm not sure where I want to go with it. the Yakunoya is still too heavy and fresh for me to read with a clear mind... so in order to remedy all that, I decided to write a Kuroyaku... again.......................
I can't defend myself.
I think I want to write gen fics - I really want to do a proper character study for Noya someday, that's the one thing I will force myself to write before I allow myself to fall out of fandom - but writing gen fic isn't a thing that just /happens/ for me. it needs me to be in /the zone/ which more often than not, I'm not in, which makes things difficult. I end up turning back to Kuroyaku cos it's familiar territory, lol.
I also realised that I made a mistake in stressing myself to churn out more fics for Timeless. now that I'm looking back, I realise that I was upset with Timeless #8 cos I was kind of forcing myself to write it. I want to finish Timeless #8 before I get to the hard fun in Timeless #6. but I forgot that my time travel muse is actually fickle, and forcing it isn't the smartest thing to do.
so, yeah, you know what they say - hindsight is 20/20.
