five past midnight

7-11 ... it's miyamiya day! 

posted Timeless 8 (Before Nightfall) at last \o/ it feels so good to finally hit the Post without Preview button lol. not having a lot of expectations for this fic, which is pretty saddening I guess, but I'm not about to set myself up for disappointment either. brand new rarepair + fantasy au + part 4 of a series??? I'm not a pessimist but this is just me being realistic, I guess. even Back Home, which by all accounts was minimal worldbuilding and more fluff that anything, doesn't have 30 kudos yet, and At Sunrise has been stuck at 30 since....middle of last month? (yea, 14th June) 

well, at least my bar is already set low enough that I probably won't get disappointed by anything else orz

reflection piece is here, I wrote it two days ago and published it as a private post, but it's now available to read! beware spoilers.

in other, non-haikyuu news, DGM IS COMING BACK ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!! a year after its last proper chapter release!!!!!!! I'm asking my friend to buy the magazine from Japan for me since he's there at the moment. if I'm not careful, I might jump back into dgm fic if any ideas hit me after the update lol 

no inspiration for kuroyaku or yakunoya week yet, even though I've got a few song muses already. hopefully my writing block clears up soon bleurgh

after 2 months and some (I started in April) I'VE FINALLY FINISHED DRAFT ONE OF TIMELESS 8.

really uncertain about a lot of things from plot to characterisation to relationship dynamics, but you have no idea how big a relief it is to finally get it off my hands (and into my beta's). funny how it started off easy and just spiraled into hell. I wrote it pretty blindly too, with only the main plot points but not the events along the way, so for a good 60% of the fic I was just winging it... which is probably how I ended up... with a fic that is 9.4k words long when I was expecting it to be 6-7k at most.

oh crap

I think I know why I suffered so much. I wrote the whole thing in full chronological order.........................? which doesn't usually happen for my long fics.

towards the end (aka the last scene, which I wrote today) I literally threw my hands up and went, yknow what, anything goes. and I found something really useful on Wikipedia! the things I've bookmarked for this fic are pretty amusing tbh. but there was something that fit incredibly smoothly into the whole story and I was super happy about that.

I'm just happy that I'm done.

except my beta is now done reading, which means editing comes soon. sob

on a side note, me @ me: why can't you spare yourself the pain and stop shipping so many rarepairs??????? this fic ended up with a strange mess of dynamics also, what's up with that 

me @ me: new phone who dis

it's not possible for me tbh, almost every single one of my fandom ships are rare............

//

update [12.18am]: so I was looking through my old Kuroyaku drafts to see if there's anything I can work with, and I have this 10-paragraph fic that reads like a ritzfic. 

 i hate everything, i'm at 8.3k and this fic is just dragging now 

update [4.05am]: so right as I was about to go to sleep at last, my brain decided to fix the problem for me and now I need to rewrite everything I wrote yesterday 

SIGH

at least it makes better sense with the new idea 

update [6.01pm]: I deleted 2k and am now back at 8.4k after rewriting everything > >;; two more scenes to go... I highly suspect I'm struggling because I feel like I'm not balancing the plot and characters well enough. and I'm also having trouble with their characterisation, since all the major characters this fic are characters that I've never written + characters that fic seldom explore for long periods of time > >;;;;;

haven't started on my daily writing spree, but I was thinking about Timeless 8 this morning and I remembered a problem I've been facing since this fic started shaping up - I have absolutely no clue what kind of relationship Konoha and Noya share. 

I started off aiming for romantic (but didn't consciously force it, just went with how I felt their dynamic would be like), but as the fic progressed, I realised they weren't exactly interacting in a romantic way. They're not like Kuroyaku and all their lovey dovey shenanigans over the centuries.

But they're not platonic friends either... they're closer than friends but not a couple, but also not in a 'it's complicated' way lol. the only way I can think to describe them is that they're queer platonic partners orz While that doesn't bother me in the least, since the concept of QPPs is interesting to explore imo, I'm also like ?? so this is what happens when you let your characters do their own thing xD surprising, but in a good way. I guess Konoha and Noya know themselves better than me.

...although I shouldn't even be surprised anymore. *glares at Kuroyaku*

Was gonna say "I can't write", but apparently the moment I attempt to write that on DW, my muse decides it wants to write. I'm actually very sleepy from my medicine, but I got two paragraphs down for the next scene of Timeless 8, which is the kick I needed to start the Timeless engine again.

Akinori attempts to not warp his own mind with that logic loop.

Here is Konoha breaking the fourth wall.

did a grand total of no writing yesterday because I was out at a staycation (and my wrist was acting up at work, so it was just as well).

my perfectionist streak has returned with Timeless 2.5 - I woke up yesterday and started editing it ... lol. still haven't decided who I want the cameo 'A' to be... I could probably make him an OC but I'm conflicted, cos I might be writing the spinoff that this fic revolves about... this is kinda what happens when you wing a plot as you go u_u

not for the first time I am regretting that I killed Daishou in Ages, not because I want to make him 'A' but because of what I have planned for Timeless 6 u_____u. Daishou would've been the best option for me to write the scene that came to mind the other day.

....I might just use someone from Wakunan or Nohebi or something......... *lies down*

probably won't be able to write much for a while, I'm pretty sure that using the keyboard is the biggest problem for my wrists at the moment.  I might write on my phone to finish up Timeless 8/if another new muse bites hard. a few ideas have been cropping up and gnawing at me - what do you mean hanahaki kuroyaku? I don't know what you're talking about - but until something really takes hold, I'll take it easy for now. luckily, most of the stories I do really want to write like friends-with-benefits kuroyaku already have a structure to them so I know I'm not going to lose them if I take a break.

edit (i): also I gotta start thinking of a title and summary for the fic. I already have a working title, but writing the summary is My Least Favourite Part... rn I only have "Kuroyaku being gross."

edit (ii): today, when I was lying sardined in a bed with four other people, I thought of the first ever multi-chaptered Haikyuu fic idea I've ever thought of.

to absolutely nobody's surprise, it's Kuroyaku.
to everyone's surprise, it's a semi-AU.

I'm a bit iffy on it at the moment, but if I do write it... it'll be a heavy fic too. why do I keep thinking of heavy fics?! plus I'm not sure if current me will be able to write it - the topics and dynamics I want to explore in it are still kind of... distant? for me now.

I was actually thinking about how... "not everyone wants to be extraordinary; some people just want to have a job they like, a life they're happy with, a peaceful world." it's something I've been thinking about recently, for a variety of reasons.

but as I am now, I know I won't be able explore this idea the way I want to, not yet. some things are only best narrated when you've had personal experience with it, and I'm... not yet at that stage of my life. of course, I could always try to go for a rose-tinted version of how I think things would play out, but... hmm.

making good progress with Timeless 2.5, but got hit by yet another train wreck of insecurity, like "why are you writing this when it was supposed to be plot?" (....it's like. just ridiculous fluff and stuff rn....) or "don't you think you should write something better (aka, less self-indulgent)". it's all super irrational and I am aware that it's irrational, but like ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻ damn you brain, I started this fic three weeks ago with every intention of making it fluffy and sappy, you are not stopping me.

....part of me is going, "hey it's the 99/100th fic, you should do something nicer. deeper. more complex."

at the same time, brain, may I remind you that you're the one not giving me any 'nicer. deeper. more complex.' ideas to write, so this is still your fault. you have 0 right to stop me!

what do you mean I can write about nekoma losing at nationals do I look like I will write that
i probably will
someday
maybe someday is tomorrow depending on the muse

also figured out what was setting me on edge about Timeless 8 - it's probably tired!Konoha's reaction to Noya. I don't know why but I made him super grumpy and it's been rubbing me the wrong way ever since orz. I'll have to fix that when I'm back to it.

today's chapter had me screaming, and one of my friends posted a series of inarizaki flashfics which was really amazing and made me want to continue with my miyamiya fic (i'm still holding out on it, until i get more osamu characterisation). 

I decided to publish the Dateko fic today! Preorders for the zine close tomorrow so it seemed like a good way of getting the word out lmao. Also it was really collecting dust in my folder, so might as well. Reception has been quiet but feedback is good. I'm pleased, cos I ran through a bunch of ideas (and  screwed up like, 4 drafts) before I settled on that one.

put Timeless #8 on hold to pick up where I left off on #2.5! i'm glad I took a break from #2.5 previously to work on #8, cos now that I'm looking at it with fresh eyes, the block isn't as bad as it was previously. hopefully this break helps me with getting back into #8 too! 

it's coming along well so far, a lot of worldbuilding once again, and introduction of another problem (that tbh, even I don't know how to fix).  

was telling Mel that this is the 'time travel duck-it-up' that they tagged me in the other day :V well, can't expect things to always go according to keikaku, right? and messing with space and time is dangerous. Yaku of all people would know. 

just because I haven't written the consequences of When Time Travel Goes Wrong... doesn't mean it always goes right :^) 

I started Timeless #2.5 aiming for it to be a domestic fluff kind of fic, maybe an interlude or pause between centuries. But then I wondered: I've already done domestic scenes enough in ATA (so much so that I was running out of ideas, I'm that undomestic), and I've got a domestic fluff standalone series already. I needed something to put a spin on domestic fluff... which hence 2.5 ended up in a "Runaways" kinda situation lmao.

Runaways was a fic where the muse ran in the opposite direction of the prompt, and 2.5 is turning out similarly. It's not a bad thing, though!

Domestic fluff would have brought in the hits and kudos, but with where 2.5 is going, I get to write fluff while casually building my universe without too much brainwork :3

i'm thinking of making characterisation notes on here. Would be pretty interesting to get all the brainwork that comes with characterisation out on paper, I mean text. I sometimes forget exactly how much time and subconscious work is put into getting into a character's mind - of course, practice makes easier because they become second nature, but then comes the challenge of writing them differently but keeping them the same.

I'm quite sure my office mouse is to blame for my wrist pains. It started hurting at work today again, so I'm going to put pain patches on it overnight and probably get a wrist guard tomorrow, ugh. It wasn't as bad as it was on Friday, though, so I just tried to take breaks between long messages and stuff.

I'm way too young to be having so many injuries!! My knees are bad enough as they are :/ bleurgh. 

Rolls off to bed. 

goodbye april, hello may! I published a grand total of three things this month! 

wrote some more of Timeless #8 today. progress is incredibly slow considering I already have the full plot mapped out, but I'm being slowed down by details and characterisation.

halfway through my writing today, I decided that I needed to do up a timeline for all the events in Timeless - and then got faced with a hugeass problem. considering Yaku reset history in Ages, did he overwrite everything that had happened post-18th century? was whatever relationship he'd had with Kuroo pre-reset... all returned to default? in Ages I must've definitely considered this, but there isn't any significant change until Yaku returns to the 21st century and decides that Yeah, he wants to tell Kuroo his feelings. I mean, I guess theoretically there wouldn't be a significant change, because Kuroo was there with him when he hit the reset, so Kuroo is aware of and resets/changes history with him. In that sense, the reset was not made by Yaku alone, and the Kuroo/Kagehina, being aware of the reset, are themselves unaffected by the reset too. 

it's been five months and I don't even understand this myself. OTL 

In other news, I have a total of 13 fics in this universe so far, including the two I've already written and the three I've started drafting, and around three more that I'm still unsure of. the number can honestly only increase from here on out because I'm progressively introducing new characters, and with more characters means more potential stories to explore. the only question, I think, is how dedicated I will be to writing all of it down. most of my fics are centered in the 21st century though, which is kinda... Clichéd but at the same time necessary.

I realised that there are really a lot of open plot threads in Ages, and now that I'm working on a fic that fills one of those plot threads, I'm feeling the difference. When I get around to the fic focusing on the time travellers, I'll probably be pulling out a few other new threads too lol, fun. 

the good part about this fic I'm writing now (working title Timeless #8 for lack of creativity) is that I can feel my writing muse coming back. it's not as strong as when I was writing Across the Ages, but then again I had the luxury of it being the holidays when I wrote Ages. I literally ate-breathed-slept-dreamt Ages for the better part of December, and the final product shows (to me, at least, since I wrote it) the amount of changes and edits that I made from start to finish.

anyway, Ages is not the point.

Timeless #8 has been surprisingly... easy to write and edit, unlike At Sunrise, where I struggled with identifying flaws in the story, much less edit them.

where Ages went through several rounds of revisions (and plot hole fixes lmao, time travel really messes with the mind), I'd say 90% of my original version of Sunrise ended up in the final product. I'm not entirely sure why I feel odd about that, but I guess it was partially because of how much I changed Ages over the course of writing it...? I kind of subconsciously expect myself to put that much effort into every instalment of Timeless now, I guess.

personally I'm not that satisfied with Sunrise, because where I can easily say that I wrote part of my heart and soul into Ages, I know I didn't for Sunrise. not as much, at least. it's strange.

I wonder if it's because of the timing at which I was writing Sunrise - I wrote it alongside a bunch of other stories, and it took me a full month to finish but yet, I'm not as emotionally attached to it... - or because of the nature of the story itself. I'm not a big fan of character death (I say, as I plan out Timeless' instalments) and that might be a possible reason why I tried to disengage from Sunrise.

in any case, so far Timeless #8 has the luxury of 1) being the only fic I'm working on at the moment, although I really do feel like writing the Nekoma third years fic that I've been wanting to write 2) not having any heavy, heavy themes and 3) having a lot of worldbuilding opportunities, which I do enjoy writing much more.

...sometimes I look back at my notes and I wonder: how did a 1000 word Nanowrimo story... end up spawning an entire universe?

I just went to look at my earliest, earliest notes, when I was first inspired by the prompt 'A friendship between a time traveler and an immortal. Wherever the time traveler ends up, the immortal is there to catch him up to speed' and I found this:

Yaku is a time traveller and Kuroo an immortal warlock.
They never explicitly said “I love you”, but they knew. It was just a given - a love that reached beyond space and time. No matter when, no matter which time period he ended up, Morisuke knew that he would always be able to find Kuroo.
One day, Kuroo disappeared.

how far we've come since then :'D I've lost the original Nanowrimo story (overwrote it when I really decided on writing Ages) but... it's been a journey.

---

anyhow, Timeless #8 marks more unchartered territory for me.

writing Konoha, whom I've never written before, as a main character is really nervewracking tbh, although it should get better as the fic progresses. I've also added a character I've never written before, and even though he's just a minor character here, I'm excited that I finally can add him into the story. :D I hope it will mark the entrance of more people from that particular team! 

it's almost 1am so I'm just gonna write for 15 minutes today and call it a day.